"The Young Messiah" Review

The Young Messiah features Sean Bean, Christian McKay, and a cast of relatively unknown British actors in an adaptation of Anne Rice's book Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt. This represents a 180-degree turn from Rice's previously adapted stories Interview With the Vampire and Queen of the Damned.

The story of The Young Messiah follows a 7-year old Jesus (Adam Greaves-Neal) and his family as they journey from Egypt back home to Nazareth. Along the way, young Jesus slowly discovers his identity as a healer, leader, teacher and savior. Mary (Sara Lazzaro), Joseph (Vincent Walsh) and uncle Cleopas (McKay) try to guide Jesus while also protecting his gift.

Watching this film prompted me to spot obvious parallels to the story of young Superman, which could bode well for the film's play with mainstream audiences accustomed to the comic book adventures currently ruling the marketplace. However, it's important for these folks to recognize that Jesus came first, and that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created Superman as a Christ-like figure.

This seems obvious, but I wouldn't put it past those unversed in either the Gospel or comic book lore.

Some parts of the film - the character of Cleopas relegated largely to comic relief, as well as a dramatic staredown between Jesus and Roman centurion Severus (Sean Bean) in the Jewish temple - feel as corny as a comic book, but this is still a part of Christ's story that has yet to be told in cinematic form. As such, it stands out from most faith-based fare and is largely worth a look.

The Young Messiah's worst sin, however, is its whitewashing. This is yet another version of a biblical story with a spray-tanned British cast. The young Greaves-Neal captures the innocence of Jesus as a child, but his thick English accent makes him painfully difficult to take seriously. Same goes for most of the cast. The commitment from Lazzaro and Walsh as Mary and Joseph respectively make things tolerable, but there's still no reason for this kind of casting anymore. It's 2016, and there are plenty of capable, region-accurate actors to play these roles. See Cliff Curtis as Jesus in Risen.

Like Risen I never felt patronized as an audience member while watching The Young Messiah, but unlike Risen I left feeling apathetic. The poor casting makes it hard to buy into the characters despite the superior technical presentation compared to most recent Christian films.

C+

Sundance 2016 - "Antibirth" Review

Six years ago, writer/director Danny Perez brought his experimental music film Oddsac to the Sundance Film Festival. At that time, Perez promised the director of programming for the festival's "Midnight" section that he would eventually return with "the midnight movie to end them all." That's a bit overzealous. The film is too serious to match the giddy goofiness of Yoga Hosers, not gory enough to satisfy bloodlust the way 31 does, and just isn't as gloriously fucked up as The Greasy Strangler. That said, Antibirth may be the most artistically impressive of the midnight movies I've seen so far this week.

The film centers around Lou (Orange is the New Black's Natasha Lyonne), a hard-partying slacker who wakes up one morning with symptoms of a strange illness. All the while, talk of government conspiracies and alien experimentation permeate the background. Concerned that she may be pregnant, Lou attempts to ruin the kid by continuing her bender of bong hits, chain smoking and binge drinking. As we expect, those toxins in Lou's system mess her up pretty bad but what we don't expect is just how bad. And, man, it's pretty horrendous.

Perez showcases Lou's hallucinatory drug trips somewhat differently than what we've seen in film before. Rather than carry on for an entire scene with manipulated lens filters and shudder effects, Lou only hallucinates in "shards of time," as if the bong rips force her to remember, rather than forget, glimpses of how she became "pregnant."

Helping Lou piece together the mystery is her best friend Sadie (Chloe Sevigny). The chemistry between real-life pals Lyonne and Sevigny comes off natural, making it easier to sympathize and engage with the characters.

The cinematography from Rudolk Blahacek is also quite impressive. I love the way the film is lit, especially during the final 10 or so minutes. Blahacek's work also allows the special practical effects to shine for ultimate, slimy, gross-out impact.

If you can picture a less intelligent version of David Lynch's Eraserhead with the body horror of David Cronenberg, you'll have a good idea of what to expect from Antibirth. 

B-

"Ctl+Alt+Delete" Review

Ctl+Alt+Delete is a new sci-fi thriller from writer/director James B. Cox which proves definitively that when a film has a strong story, confident direction and a team of passionate individuals working in front of and behind the camera, no budget is too small for big thrills.

The drama centers around Thule, a cyber-security conglomerate that decides to cut its losses by instituting M.A.N.A., an artificial intelligence to manage its data centers. One night, the Thule offices are overrun by a trio of hackers seeking to expose the valuable secrets stored in the data vaults. Sensing an attack, M.A.N.A. fights back and gives the villains (and the heroes, for that matter) more than they bargained for. What ensues is a high-stakes game where the good guys and bad guys join forces to fight a larger, potentially smarter threat.

You don't see that "joining of forces" too often anymore in genre film. What makes this dynamic between the characters even more fascinating is just how intimate it is. The film has a very claustrophobic feel to it which lends urgency and tension to the proceedings. Even if we aren't always aware of the far-reaching consequences of the data breach, the close-knit clash of ideals between the characters keeps things interesting.

The film doesn't take itself too seriously as Cox peppers some nicely-timed comedy throughout his script. The characters Jayhawk (Adam Shapiro) and Rafi (Josh Banday) are the lovable misfits at Thule who end up playing a huge role in the outcome of the story. Rafi is especially fun as a more likable Dennis Nedry-type character whether he's building "failsafe" security software or hitting on interns at the gym.

Lastly I'll mention how amazing the visual effects are for a film with a budget under $500,000. The makeup effects and CGI look very professional and thus chilling at all the right moments.

Ctl+Alt+Delete is a rollicking blend of comedy and tense, sci-fi drama that should play very well with the Comic-Con crowd. With such a high concept and such a low budget, Cox pulls off fresh, fun things with his first feature-length film. Keep it on your radar as the year goes on, and don't pass up a chance to see it.

SLAMDANCE 2016 - "Neptune" Review

I lied.

I didn't think I'd return to Slamdance to watch anything else, but since I slept through my early morning screening of Captain Fantastic, I thought I'd tag along with my man Cody who was on his way to see Neptune.

Neptune is director Derek Kimball's first feature-length project. It's about Hannah (Jane Ackermann), a young woman who grew up, as an orphan, in a church on an island off the coast of Maine. Obsessed with the disappearance of a friend, Hannah begins working for the boy's father where they trap lobsters together. All the while, Hannah discovers her path in life on her own accord - which is a first since she's been instructed her whole life by her caretaker, Reverend Jerry (Tony Reilly).

"Subtle beauty" is the only way to define this emotional journey akin to Antonioni's L'Avventura. Kimball's direction is assured, and the cinematography (by Jayson Lobozzo and Dean Merrill) is magnificent. The cool color palette reflects the setting quite well and contributes a haunting sense of unease to the drama.

Ackermann is a revelation in her first movie role. She brings urgency and heart to the role of Hannah in a way that I hope lends her recognition. Since Brie Larson is now apparently "the next Jennifer Lawrence," I'm calling it now that this girl has the potential to be the next Brie Larson.

The film also deserves to be commended for its use of local talent from the state of Maine. Kimball, Ackermann, several background players, and many among the production crew hail from "the Pine Tree State." Kudos to the locals for creating such a beautiful film to affectionately showcase their territory.

My only minor gripe is that the pacing is a bit too deliberate. Otherwise, Neptune has restored my faith in Slamdance 2016.

A-

Sundance 2016 - "31" Review

Rob Zombie returns to the horror genre with 31, a project he's kept largely under wraps for the past five or so years. The film itself isn't really good enough or shocking enough to merit the secrecy, but if you're a fan of Zombie's previous films, you'll have a great time.

The story is a period piece that takes place on Halloween night, 1979. A band of travelling carnies (Sheri Moon Zombie, Meg Foster, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, Kevin Jackson, Jeff Daniel Phillips) are attacked and taken hostage by goons working for Father Murder (Malcolm McDowell), who places the group into a deadly game called "31." The object of the "game" is to survive 12 hours in an abandoned compound while several maniacs dressed as different clown-like characters attempt to kill them.

The story borrows too heavily from other, better horror films such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and House on Haunted Hill. The most fun part of 31 isn't the concept itself, nor is it the gruesome violence (of which there is plenty). It's the villains. If anything can be said about Zombie as a storyteller, it's that he always has a distinctly original eye for characters. Goons such as the Harley Quinn-like "Sex-Head" (E.G. Daily), the Spanish-speaking Nazi midget "Sick-Head" (Pancho Moler), and the Joker-like "Doom-Head" (Richard Brake) steal the show. Brake especially commands the screen each time he's on it. The film's bone-chilling opening scene may be the single best sequence in Zombie's oeuvre. The directing, writing, and Brake's performance in the first 5 minutes are worth the price of admission alone.

Personally, I watch Zombie's films to satisfy my bloodlust. It's a bonus that the characters are almost always fascinating. Now that I'm used to watching the unrated cuts of Halloween and The Devil's Rejects, the violence of 31 feels almost too tame in comparison. There's actually been some controversy surrounding this issue. Zombie submitted the film twice to the MPAA for certification and both times was slapped with an NC-17 rating. Since he wants to get the film into theaters nationwide, edits are necessary to get the film down to a more commercially-friendly R rating. The R-rated cut is what was shown at last night's premiere, much to the dismay of myself and the other midnight movie mongers in attendance. Zombie personally assured all of us, however, that the original NC-17 cut will be available on an "unrated" DVD/Bluray release later this year.

Despite 31's narrative shortcomings, I look forward to revisiting Zombie's true vision on Bluray later this fall ahead of the Halloween holiday. He remains as strong a horror auteur as we have working in the genre today.

B-

SLAMDANCE 2016 - "Mad" Review

The "Slamdance" Film Festival serves as something of an antithesis to the Sundance festival. It was started by a group of artists who felt that, over the years, Sundance had turned into precisely the corporate, mainstream monster that it was originally created in opposition of. Slamdance is supposed to be something of a "safe haven" for the artists and filmmakers with even more offbeat, experimental projects than Sundance. With a couple of free hours, I decided to dabble and chose to watch Mad, which I had heard was one of the better Slamdance offerings.

If that's the case, I'm not sure I'll be returning.

It's the story of an emotionally unstable mother (Maryann Plunkett), her two grown daughters (Jennifer Lafleur, Eilis Cahill), and the war of nerves that often defines family dysfunction.

In the film, this war is fought on three separate fronts, and it doesn't quite work. It's great that all three women have their own, well-developed character arcs, but the film quickly loses focus switching between their different storylines.

We see Mel (Plunkett) making a recovery in the psych ward where she befriends Jerry (Mark Reeb), a fellow patient.

Connie (Lafleur) faces down criminal accusations at work while also balancing the responsibilities of motherhood and as a daughter to a hospitalized mother.

Casey (Cahill) is the family "fuck-up" and constantly butts heads with her older sister Connie about cleaning up her act.

Balancing the emotional beats of these 3 different arcs is a Herculean task, and writer/director Robert G. Putka doesn't quite get it. Hearing him speak before and after the film made it clear that he's not exactly the brightest or most friendly guy. He seems very full of himself, and that self-righteousness is seen through the cynical interactions between the characters. Much of the dialogue is mean-spirited for the sake of being mean-spirited. Putka essentially admitted this himself. It probably makes him laugh, but the rest of us never feel in on the joke.

Acting performances show no lack of skill, and everyone pulls it off as well as they can with such an asinine script.

D+

"Dirty Grandpa" Review

Since this movie features a sight gag in which it's meant to look like Zac Efron is getting head from an 8-year old boy on the beach, it's tough to give Dirty Grandpa a fair shake.

I don't know who in either Efron's camp or (especially) Robert DeNiro's thought it would be a smart career move to make this film. It is quite simply one of the worst movies this reviewer has ever seen.

The barely-there story involves the young, uptight Jason (Efron) driving his grandpa (DeNiro) down to Florida the week before Jason is to be married. The road trip quickly escalates into the bachelor party from Hell when Grandpa catches a whiff of a horny college girl (Aubrey Plaza) and decides they need to follow her and her friends to Spring Break in Daytona Beach. One of her friends is an old photography classmate of Jason's. The two reconnect, throwing a potential wrench in the wedding plans.

The shenanigans culminate precisely how you'd expect, but the film takes the most absurd way to get there.

I don't care how hot Zac Efron is. Any girl who would take him back after becoming a homewrecker and nearly dying by his hand in a high-speed freeway chase involving a bus, an ice cream truck and the inept Daytona Beach police force is a complete idiot.

Most of the interactions between the main and supporting characters are just convenient plot devices. Dermot Mulroney plays Jason's dad, a lawyer, who is conveniently present to inform the police that they can't arrest his son, despite causing wanton mayhem on a freeway, because they're out of their jurisdiction. Once they realize this, Jason is free to live happily ever after with no consequences.

I wish I were white enough to get away with a stunt like that.

The last thing I can really say is that the jokes are sophomoric even by Will Ferrell's standards. It's all penis, poop, drug and sex jokes that don't make you think so much as bludgeon you over the head for shock value. It's hard to contain a snicker when the once-nuanced DeNiro spouts lines like "I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth from a fucking hot air balloon." It's not particularly funny, but who in their right mind would've ever thought DeNiro would say something like that? Since one last masterpiece seems out of the question at this stage in the man's career, I probably should've cried instead.

Though Dirty Grandpa doesn't quite scrape the bottom of the barrel the way Adam Sandler's recent outings have, there's still no prize for being the next shiniest turd in the Depends. Avoid like the plague. Believe it or not, there are far better sex comedies out there.

F