Trailer Round-Up (Week of 10/21/16)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WhQcK-Zaok

Logan - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Div0iP65aZo

Assassin's Creed - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4haJD6W136c

A Cure for Wellness - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mcVodJmBlU

"Wiener-Dog" Review

Acclaimed writer/director Todd Solondz (Welcome to the Dollhouse; Happiness) returns with another pitch-black examination of the human condition, this time through the eyes of a dachshund as it moves from owner to owner.

Wiener-Dog is a story told in four parts.

The first:
After adopting the dog, a young, naive boy (Keaton Nigel Cooke) gets an education in mortality from his dysfunctional parents (Julie Delpy, Tracy Letts). A severe bout of diarrhea forces the family to give the dog up.

The second:
Dawn (Greta Gerwig), a veterinarian's assistant, steals the dog away from the clinic after nursing it back to health. One day she reunites with an old friend named Brandon (Kieran Culkin), and the two set off on a road trip to score drugs. The trip ultimately leads them to the home of Brandon's brother Tommy (Connor Long) and his wife April (Bridget Brown). It's there that Brandon informs Tommy of their father's death. In the wake of this news (and essentially all but a girlfriend to Brandon), Dawn realizes that Tommy and April need a furry friend more than she does at the moment. She leaves the dog with them on the way out of town.

The third:
Some time later, the dachshund winds up in New York City under the care of a disillusioned screenwriting professor named Dave Schmerz (Danny DeVito). Schmerz achieved success in Hollywood thirty years ago with the release of a comedy he hated. In the present day, Schmerz's forays into Hollywood prove fruitless. He's disrespected by his students and underappreciated by the administration at his institution. He's stuck in an existential rut. That is, until he eyes his dog and asks "What if..?"

The fourth:
The titular puppy finds a home with a curmudgeonly old lady (Ellen Burstyn). She's visited by her granddaughter Zoe (Zosia Mamet) and her boyfriend Fantasy (Michael James Shaw). Fantasy is a controversial installation artist, and so Zoe begs her grandmother for money for Fantasy's latest project. Nana hesitantly turns over the money and is later confronted by a dozen projections of her younger self. "This is you if you had continued to play the piano," says one angelic voice. "And this is you if you if you had left bigger tips," says another. This segment culminates the entire 90-minute picture in one extremely bleak, unexpected moment.

The movie ends in a rather sobering place when you think about what each of these four stories and their mascot represent. That said, It's still a place where you'll have trouble stifling bewildered chuckles. Solondz's brand of black humor proves endearing here because the characters are so well-realized and that dog is just so darn cute. When I walked out of the theater afterwards, I felt like my cinematic palette had been cleansed.

Wiener-Dog is a well-rounded, well-acted ensemble flick whose cynical outlook actually feels refreshing after a steady diet of safe big-budget blockbusters. This movie isn't for everyone (especially not kids!); but if you appreciate offbeat comedies, you'll get a kick out of it.

A-

"The Young Messiah" Review

The Young Messiah features Sean Bean, Christian McKay, and a cast of relatively unknown British actors in an adaptation of Anne Rice's book Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt. This represents a 180-degree turn from Rice's previously adapted stories Interview With the Vampire and Queen of the Damned.

The story of The Young Messiah follows a 7-year old Jesus (Adam Greaves-Neal) and his family as they journey from Egypt back home to Nazareth. Along the way, young Jesus slowly discovers his identity as a healer, leader, teacher and savior. Mary (Sara Lazzaro), Joseph (Vincent Walsh) and uncle Cleopas (McKay) try to guide Jesus while also protecting his gift.

Watching this film prompted me to spot obvious parallels to the story of young Superman, which could bode well for the film's play with mainstream audiences accustomed to the comic book adventures currently ruling the marketplace. However, it's important for these folks to recognize that Jesus came first, and that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster created Superman as a Christ-like figure.

This seems obvious, but I wouldn't put it past those unversed in either the Gospel or comic book lore.

Some parts of the film - the character of Cleopas relegated largely to comic relief, as well as a dramatic staredown between Jesus and Roman centurion Severus (Sean Bean) in the Jewish temple - feel as corny as a comic book, but this is still a part of Christ's story that has yet to be told in cinematic form. As such, it stands out from most faith-based fare and is largely worth a look.

The Young Messiah's worst sin, however, is its whitewashing. This is yet another version of a biblical story with a spray-tanned British cast. The young Greaves-Neal captures the innocence of Jesus as a child, but his thick English accent makes him painfully difficult to take seriously. Same goes for most of the cast. The commitment from Lazzaro and Walsh as Mary and Joseph respectively make things tolerable, but there's still no reason for this kind of casting anymore. It's 2016, and there are plenty of capable, region-accurate actors to play these roles. See Cliff Curtis as Jesus in Risen.

Like Risen I never felt patronized as an audience member while watching The Young Messiah, but unlike Risen I left feeling apathetic. The poor casting makes it hard to buy into the characters despite the superior technical presentation compared to most recent Christian films.

C+

"Son of Saul" Review

I was finally able to catch Son of Saul just two days after its win at the Oscars for Best Foreign Language Film. It is a very strong piece that takes a rather unique approach to the Holocaust drama. Rather than paint a picture of the setting through wide angles and helicopter shots as other directors might, Hungarian filmmaker Laszlo Nemes keeps the camera focused solely on Saul (Geza Rohrig), a prisoner working as a member of the Sonderkommando at one of Auschwitz's crematoriums. Forced to gas his own people, Saul's guilt catches up with him and prompts him to rescue a boy who survived the chamber. After the boy is killed by an attending Nazi physician, Saul spends his time in search of a rabbi willing to help him bury the child whom he's taken as a son in death. All the while, the prisoners plot a rebellion.

It's interesting how you get a vivid portrait of the setting even with such an intimate perspective. The grunge and the horror of the camp is seen through Saul's facial expressions and body language. All credit to Rohrig on a masterful lead performance. If he had been nominated for Best Actor last Sunday, he probably would have won.

Things get pretty tense in the film's last 20-30 minutes as the riots begin. Other than that, this is a very deliberately paced film that requires patience. It didn't provide me much to get invested in during the first hour. For that, I'd say fellow Foreign Language Film contenders Mustang and Embrace of the Serpent are more worthy of your time and praise let alone the Oscar. Maybe Son of Saul didn't deserve the award, but it's still a unique cinematic experience that breathes new life into the tired WWII/Holocaust drama.

B+

"Zootopia" Review

With its 55th animated feature, Walt Disney Animation Studios serves up yet another home run in the form of Zootopia - a lush, colorful feature that may be too dense for kids. Older teens and adults should eat up the film's deep conspiracy plot and its mature, but never dirty, sense of humor. Keen-eyed fans of The Godfather, Breaking Bad, and past Disney animated hits will find plenty to chuckle about.

The story starts with Judy Hopps (Once Upon A Time's Ginnifer Goodwin), a bunny from a small country town with dreams of being a police officer in the big city of Zootopia. After being told to temper her expectations for the real world, Judy leaves the haters behind and heads to the police academy. Her first day on the job in Zootopia leads her to an encounter with a sly fox named Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman). After a rough first day, the city-slick Nick and greenhorn Judy become unlikely partners when Judy takes on a missing persons case in a last-ditch effort to save her career. As they chase down leads all over town, a more sinister plot comes to light.

If anything bad can be said about the film, it's that things fall into place too conveniently on more than one occasion for our heroes. I won't list examples in fear of giving too much away, but leads and hunches are often resolved with little effort from the story or the characters. This diminishes the stakes a bit and undermines some of the most interesting aspects of (especially) Judy's character. It's odd that the bunny who doesn't have a clue suddenly seems to have an answer for everything. When she doesn't, her conveniently paired fox friend does.

It's easy to see past these flaws, however, because of how incredible everything else is. The animation is gorgeous; every animal, building, article of clothing and drop of water is realized with vivid detail. And believe it or not, everything looks even better in 3-D.

The voice acting is also quite strong. Bateman shines as Nick, a perfect match for the actor's smart comedic sensibilities. Goodwin is perpetually engaging as Judy. The two lead an impeccable supporting cast including Idris Elba, Jenny Slate, J.K. Simmons, Octavia Spencer, Tommy Chong and Shakira among others.

Lastly, Disney delivers another ballsy message in the form of a colorful kid's movie. The central conflict of Zootopia stems from deep-seeded prejudice. Predators and prey co-habitate in Zootopia despite their biology, and this creates a fascinating, sometimes complicated, dynamic for both the characters and the world they exist in. It's a message that rings all too truly for the real world today, but the deeper issues at hand for us humans have existed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.
Until hate and prejudice are erased from the face of the earth, films like Zootopia will continue to timelessly inform as well as entertain.

A-

"Risen" Review

Risen stars Joseph Fiennes and Cliff Curtis in a story about the resurrection of Jesus Christ. What sets this film apart from being yet another bland retelling of the Easter story is the fact that it takes place entirely from the perspective of a non-believer.

Parts of the modestly-budgeted production design look and feel like an after-school special, but Risen is worth recommending for its unique approach to the story and for assured performances, especially from Fiennes as Clavius, the Roman tribune whom Pontius Pilate (Peter Firth) tasks with securing the tomb. The events that ensue prompt a manhunt in the hope of preventing a revolution in Jerusalem.

The film actually has palpable stakes and a decent amount of action for viewers hoping for the excitement of traditional "sword-and-sandal" epics. There's some edge-of-your-seat material here, but those hoping for non-stop intensity may be disappointed. That said, the story really isn't about the manhunt. It's about the spiritual conflict of a doubter as he reconciles events beyond his comprehension.

If for nothing else, the film earns major points for actually casting a POC as Jesus and for using his given Hebrew name 'Yeshua.' Never once is he called "Jesus." Curtis gives a terrific performance in the role. If not for Jim Caviezel's heart-wrenching turn in The Passion of the Christ, Curtis's version of Christ would be my favorite of any portrayals I've seen on film. It's easy to buy Curtis as an understated leader and a "fisher of men," as the apostles come to realize. Quite refreshing after the whitewashing of Son of God and just about every other faith-based film out there.

Most faith-based films are easy to write off for their blatant desire to hammer you over the head with Christian values and to showcase how "it's hard out here for a Christian." Not to mention the acting is usually terrible, and the logic questionable (see just about anything with Kirk Cameron sans "Growing Pains"). But Risen puts viewers in the shoes of a doubter, presents the story nearly word-for-word from the Gospel, and then is respectful enough of the audience to let them decide what to believe. Sure, it skews in one direction, but I walked out feeling moved rather than talked at. Perhaps that's the key to a successful Christian film.

As an aside, Harry Potter fans will find a small Easter egg with Tom Felton ('Draco Malfoy') as Clavius' aide, Lucius. I can only imagine the Lucius Malfoy jokes on set during filming.

B

"Deadpool" Review

After years in development hell at Fox, the "Merc with a Mouth" finally has his own live-action movie! And they finally did right by the character. You may recall that Ryan Reynolds first played Wade Wilson in 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but whatever abhorrent movie monster they turned him into for the final act was most assuredly NOT Deadpool.

Eww, no.

As a result of the public's violent outcry for an honest portrayal of Deadpool, Reynolds, along with writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, championed the character and the idea of an R-rated, stand-alone Deadpool film. After some "leaked" test footage went viral, Fox couldn't put the movie off any longer. They finally took a risk on what is essentially an R-rated X-Men movie. The character of Deadpool has always been synonymous with crude, scatalogical humor, crass language, fourth-wall breaking and graphic violence. Thank our lucky comic-book stars that none of that is lost in 2016's Deadpool.

Probably the film's most contrived aspect is that it is, at its core, another basic superhero origin story. The big difference is that Deadpool is well aware of its own trappings. First-time director Tim Miller and his writers use these basic pieces to present a character and his world so in-tune with the source material that this becomes a superhero movie that actually feels refreshing. 

Eww, yes.

Explaining the plot in-depth will give too much away because of the way Deadpool himself toys with the structure of the film. For example, he stops in the middle of the opening action scene and narrates to us how we got to the current situation, which happens to be a thug impaled on his dual katanas "like a fucking kebab." Deadpool's words, not mine. Through this detour, the character's backstory and stakes are established. We learn that the opening action scene is one important moment in a larger revenge narrative.  

As crass as Deadpool is as both a character and film, its lightheartedness is infectious. It's impossible to hate the way this story is treated when the character is played with so much enthusiasm and loyalty to its roots. Kudos to Reynolds for working tirelessly to do this character right and for finally pulling off a superhero role. It's been tossed around that this is the part Reynolds was "born to play." Deadpool fits his comic sensibilities and his physicality so perfectly that it's hard to argue otherwise.

As a film, Deadpool will never win any awards and may never be considered a "masterpiece" by anyone's standards. However, this is a film that knows exactly what it has to be and pulls it off without any glaring flaws. Believe it or not, Deadpool, Fox's R-rated super-gamble, is the first must-see movie of 2016.

A+

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" Review

From Seth Grahame-Smith, the author of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, comes the next bloody bastardization of history - Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

The film is an adaptation of Jane Austen's famous novel about romance and decorum between upper and lower classes during the time of the British Regency. The big wrinkle is that the country is overrun by the undead. In addition to being trained in the ways becoming of wifely young ladies, Elizabeth Bennett (Lily James) and her sisters are highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat. Their suitors - Mr. Darcy (Sam Riley), Mr. Bingley (Douglas Booth), and Mr. Wickham (Jack Huston) - are all military brats equally skilled at zombie-killin'.

Despite their incessant, well, "pride" and "prejudice" towards one another, I'd still want all these folks on my side during the apocalypse.

The only "lovable loser" who may not be of much service besides cracking wise is Parson Collins, played by Doctor Who's Matt Smith. Each character is relatively consistent with the manner in which Austen originally wrote them, although Smith's version of Collins is made out to be the jovial scene-stealer. Smith seems to have a bit of fun with the idea of a clergyman searching for a wife and plays the role with a bit of sexual ambiguity that the preview crowd found endearing.

Despite relatively strong characters, the story doesn't always support them. It often dabbles too far into either Austen territory or Romero territory, thus ultimately feeling imbalanced. The Austen stuff feels almost too much like a Lifetime Original Movie adaptation, but the zombie action is exciting and often just violent enough to be satisfying. Hardcore gore-hounds will probably be displeased, but again, there's a surprising amount of blood and entrails for a PG-13 film.

Unless you were a fan of Grahame-Smith's book, I wouldn't rush out to see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in theaters. Worthwhile only as a Redbox rental for this year's Halloween sleepover.

C-

Sundance 2016 - "Green Room" Review

There seems to be a color pattern emerging in writer/director Jeremy Saulnier's body of work. Could the other colors of the rainbow be in each of his next films?

Saulnier follows up his magnificent, modern-day "Hatfields & McCoys" thriller Blue Ruin with Green Room, a white-knuckle siege thriller that will leave you gasping for air.

Green Room chronicles the ordeal of a punk rock band who, after witnessing a murder at a gig, are forced to sit tight in the venue's "green room." Seemingly trapped by the people responsible, the group fights to escape despite being hopelessly outmanned and outgunned.

Patrick Stewart plays Darcy, the owner of the venue and leader of the neo-Nazi group based there. He proves a formidable villain even though some of his dialogue could have been better written. It seems like most of the interactions between the bad guys rely on so much jargon that the motivations of Darcy and his disciples are never entirely clear.

Whatever character development may be lacking through dialogue, Saulnier makes up for in atmosphere. 85 percent of this movie is as tense and nerve-shredding as any of the best horror films from the past 10 years. We know these are nasty guys from the way Darcy sends them in to stalk and murder the trapped teens like a (pardon the simile) Cult of Thorn overlord commands Michael Myers. Even though some of these guys are really no more than disposable goons, Saulnier shoots them all like the horror-movie "big bads" that they are. This way, every scene has a sense of gravity and excitement that you normally don't expect for most movies like this.

Of course the tension boils over into Saulnier's trademark violence. Frequently shocking and unexpected, Saulnier's violence will make you either wince or cheer - sometimes all at once, as the most satisfying violent scenes in all of cinema do. The violence of Green Room also appears medically accurate. Wounds appear realistically based on the weapons used. There's a decent amount of blood, but this isn't Tarantino. I've always found this approach to violence to be the most cinematically visceral. I'm more traumatized by Saulnier's realistic approach than Tarantino's near-comical gore-fests or any movie released as part of the "torture porn" craze of the late 2000s. If the message of Green Room is either "violence begets violence" or "don't mess with desperate people," it lands loud and clear.

Performances are quite impressive from a star-studded cast including Stewart, Anton Yelchin (2009's Star Trek), Imogen Poots (2011's Fright Night), Alia Shawkat (TV's Arrested Development), Mark Webber (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World), and Macon Blair (Blue Ruin). Yelchin and Poots reunite for the first time since Fright Night, and their chemistry hasn't lost a step.

Green Room should be seen and enjoyed by anyone bored with how mundane most indie dramas really are. That's always been Saulnier's approach. It certainly served as a perfect shot-in-the-arm to end Sundance with. It's as taut as any of the big Hollywood-produced thrillers of the past several years. I can't wait to watch this one over and over.

A

SLAMDANCE 2016 - "Neptune" Review

I lied.

I didn't think I'd return to Slamdance to watch anything else, but since I slept through my early morning screening of Captain Fantastic, I thought I'd tag along with my man Cody who was on his way to see Neptune.

Neptune is director Derek Kimball's first feature-length project. It's about Hannah (Jane Ackermann), a young woman who grew up, as an orphan, in a church on an island off the coast of Maine. Obsessed with the disappearance of a friend, Hannah begins working for the boy's father where they trap lobsters together. All the while, Hannah discovers her path in life on her own accord - which is a first since she's been instructed her whole life by her caretaker, Reverend Jerry (Tony Reilly).

"Subtle beauty" is the only way to define this emotional journey akin to Antonioni's L'Avventura. Kimball's direction is assured, and the cinematography (by Jayson Lobozzo and Dean Merrill) is magnificent. The cool color palette reflects the setting quite well and contributes a haunting sense of unease to the drama.

Ackermann is a revelation in her first movie role. She brings urgency and heart to the role of Hannah in a way that I hope lends her recognition. Since Brie Larson is now apparently "the next Jennifer Lawrence," I'm calling it now that this girl has the potential to be the next Brie Larson.

The film also deserves to be commended for its use of local talent from the state of Maine. Kimball, Ackermann, several background players, and many among the production crew hail from "the Pine Tree State." Kudos to the locals for creating such a beautiful film to affectionately showcase their territory.

My only minor gripe is that the pacing is a bit too deliberate. Otherwise, Neptune has restored my faith in Slamdance 2016.

A-

Sundance 2016 - "31" Review

Rob Zombie returns to the horror genre with 31, a project he's kept largely under wraps for the past five or so years. The film itself isn't really good enough or shocking enough to merit the secrecy, but if you're a fan of Zombie's previous films, you'll have a great time.

The story is a period piece that takes place on Halloween night, 1979. A band of travelling carnies (Sheri Moon Zombie, Meg Foster, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, Kevin Jackson, Jeff Daniel Phillips) are attacked and taken hostage by goons working for Father Murder (Malcolm McDowell), who places the group into a deadly game called "31." The object of the "game" is to survive 12 hours in an abandoned compound while several maniacs dressed as different clown-like characters attempt to kill them.

The story borrows too heavily from other, better horror films such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and House on Haunted Hill. The most fun part of 31 isn't the concept itself, nor is it the gruesome violence (of which there is plenty). It's the villains. If anything can be said about Zombie as a storyteller, it's that he always has a distinctly original eye for characters. Goons such as the Harley Quinn-like "Sex-Head" (E.G. Daily), the Spanish-speaking Nazi midget "Sick-Head" (Pancho Moler), and the Joker-like "Doom-Head" (Richard Brake) steal the show. Brake especially commands the screen each time he's on it. The film's bone-chilling opening scene may be the single best sequence in Zombie's oeuvre. The directing, writing, and Brake's performance in the first 5 minutes are worth the price of admission alone.

Personally, I watch Zombie's films to satisfy my bloodlust. It's a bonus that the characters are almost always fascinating. Now that I'm used to watching the unrated cuts of Halloween and The Devil's Rejects, the violence of 31 feels almost too tame in comparison. There's actually been some controversy surrounding this issue. Zombie submitted the film twice to the MPAA for certification and both times was slapped with an NC-17 rating. Since he wants to get the film into theaters nationwide, edits are necessary to get the film down to a more commercially-friendly R rating. The R-rated cut is what was shown at last night's premiere, much to the dismay of myself and the other midnight movie mongers in attendance. Zombie personally assured all of us, however, that the original NC-17 cut will be available on an "unrated" DVD/Bluray release later this year.

Despite 31's narrative shortcomings, I look forward to revisiting Zombie's true vision on Bluray later this fall ahead of the Halloween holiday. He remains as strong a horror auteur as we have working in the genre today.

B-

SLAMDANCE 2016 - "Mad" Review

The "Slamdance" Film Festival serves as something of an antithesis to the Sundance festival. It was started by a group of artists who felt that, over the years, Sundance had turned into precisely the corporate, mainstream monster that it was originally created in opposition of. Slamdance is supposed to be something of a "safe haven" for the artists and filmmakers with even more offbeat, experimental projects than Sundance. With a couple of free hours, I decided to dabble and chose to watch Mad, which I had heard was one of the better Slamdance offerings.

If that's the case, I'm not sure I'll be returning.

It's the story of an emotionally unstable mother (Maryann Plunkett), her two grown daughters (Jennifer Lafleur, Eilis Cahill), and the war of nerves that often defines family dysfunction.

In the film, this war is fought on three separate fronts, and it doesn't quite work. It's great that all three women have their own, well-developed character arcs, but the film quickly loses focus switching between their different storylines.

We see Mel (Plunkett) making a recovery in the psych ward where she befriends Jerry (Mark Reeb), a fellow patient.

Connie (Lafleur) faces down criminal accusations at work while also balancing the responsibilities of motherhood and as a daughter to a hospitalized mother.

Casey (Cahill) is the family "fuck-up" and constantly butts heads with her older sister Connie about cleaning up her act.

Balancing the emotional beats of these 3 different arcs is a Herculean task, and writer/director Robert G. Putka doesn't quite get it. Hearing him speak before and after the film made it clear that he's not exactly the brightest or most friendly guy. He seems very full of himself, and that self-righteousness is seen through the cynical interactions between the characters. Much of the dialogue is mean-spirited for the sake of being mean-spirited. Putka essentially admitted this himself. It probably makes him laugh, but the rest of us never feel in on the joke.

Acting performances show no lack of skill, and everyone pulls it off as well as they can with such an asinine script.

D+

Sundance 2016: "OTHER PEOPLE" Review

David, having the shittiest year of his life: "I always thought these kinds of things happened to other people."

Gabe: "Well, to 'other people,' you are 'other people'."



Other People is the debut feature film of writer/director Chris Kelly who, when he's not busy toying with the emotions of Sundance audiences, writes for Saturday Night Live.

In the film, his knack for laughs shines through in spades with this semi-autobiographical story about David, a fledgling comedy writer (Jesse Plemons) who returns home to Sacramento to help his father (Bradley Whitford) and sisters (Maude Apatow, Madisen Beaty) care for their cancer-stricken matriarch (Molly Shannon).

Judging by the reactions of those around me at the screening, Kelly and the cast totally nail the experience of caring for a sick loved one. As far as being its own piece of drama, the performances are honest and emotional. Plemons proves himself as a viable leading man while Shannon plays the deteriorating Joanne with grace and nuance. This is not the Mary Katherine Gallagher we're used to, but it works wonderfully.

In terms of being a "cancer comedy," Other People is one of the funniest and most endearing I've ever seen. The leads are terrific, but it's young J.J. Totah who steals the show as Justin, the little brother of David's only friend in Sacramento, Gabe (John Early). That living-room dance recital had me rolling!

That's not to say the film is all sunshine and daisies. I kind of felt cheated in the end by a running motif involving Train's hit song "Drops of Jupiter." The song is the bane of David's existence since it constantly reminds him of the pain and suffering of home. To avoid spoiling the specifics, in one way, the very end of the movie uses the song so perfectly, I nearly cried. However it also felt like the world's biggest contrivance, and to end an otherwise delicately emotional film that way ruined the payoff for me.

Regardless, the film received a standing ovation from the 9am crowd, which bodes well for its chances in the festival's U.S. dramatic competition. Keep an eye out for some kind of release later this year.

B+

"Dirty Grandpa" Review

Since this movie features a sight gag in which it's meant to look like Zac Efron is getting head from an 8-year old boy on the beach, it's tough to give Dirty Grandpa a fair shake.

I don't know who in either Efron's camp or (especially) Robert DeNiro's thought it would be a smart career move to make this film. It is quite simply one of the worst movies this reviewer has ever seen.

The barely-there story involves the young, uptight Jason (Efron) driving his grandpa (DeNiro) down to Florida the week before Jason is to be married. The road trip quickly escalates into the bachelor party from Hell when Grandpa catches a whiff of a horny college girl (Aubrey Plaza) and decides they need to follow her and her friends to Spring Break in Daytona Beach. One of her friends is an old photography classmate of Jason's. The two reconnect, throwing a potential wrench in the wedding plans.

The shenanigans culminate precisely how you'd expect, but the film takes the most absurd way to get there.

I don't care how hot Zac Efron is. Any girl who would take him back after becoming a homewrecker and nearly dying by his hand in a high-speed freeway chase involving a bus, an ice cream truck and the inept Daytona Beach police force is a complete idiot.

Most of the interactions between the main and supporting characters are just convenient plot devices. Dermot Mulroney plays Jason's dad, a lawyer, who is conveniently present to inform the police that they can't arrest his son, despite causing wanton mayhem on a freeway, because they're out of their jurisdiction. Once they realize this, Jason is free to live happily ever after with no consequences.

I wish I were white enough to get away with a stunt like that.

The last thing I can really say is that the jokes are sophomoric even by Will Ferrell's standards. It's all penis, poop, drug and sex jokes that don't make you think so much as bludgeon you over the head for shock value. It's hard to contain a snicker when the once-nuanced DeNiro spouts lines like "I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth from a fucking hot air balloon." It's not particularly funny, but who in their right mind would've ever thought DeNiro would say something like that? Since one last masterpiece seems out of the question at this stage in the man's career, I probably should've cried instead.

Though Dirty Grandpa doesn't quite scrape the bottom of the barrel the way Adam Sandler's recent outings have, there's still no prize for being the next shiniest turd in the Depends. Avoid like the plague. Believe it or not, there are far better sex comedies out there.

F