Battleship
Who knew Peter Berg’s big-budget incarnation of the classic
board game would start off with inklings of humor and a decent human story? The
first twenty minutes lay a foundation for what could’ve been a solid
blockbuster if the template was followed. Too bad that story is thrown
overboard and left to drown thanks to huge, shiny special effects. A textbook
display of style over substance that makes Transformers look like Citizen Kane.
The Devil Inside
There’s a reason why January is “film dump” month, and no
film supports that assertion better than the god-awful Devil Inside. This
found-footage horror thriller about a young woman who travels to Rome to visit
her ailing mother and to study exorcism features a trailer that’s scarier than
the film itself. The few cringe-worthy elements build to the most forced,
dissatisfying, and just plain terrible ending of any movie I've ever seen,
ruining whatever good the movie has going for it, which isn't much.
Chernobyl Diaries
Yet another venture into the found-footage horror genre is Chernobyl Diaries, about a group of thrill-seeking students who go to visit
the abandoned Ukrainian city in an attempt to discover its secrets. Poor
development and even worse execution turn this film into a nuclear disaster of
its own. This is one of the least-scary horror movies I've seen, and it takes
itself far too seriously.
Paranormal Activity 4
As a fan of the franchise, I’ll admit I was thrilled to see
another sequel. I keep waiting for the mystery of the first three Paranormal
Activity films to be solved and my burning questions to be answered. Is it so
wrong of me to hope for some solace in part four? Evidently so. Paranormal
Activity 4 answers absolutely nothing about its predecessors and seems out of
place in the franchise’s narrative. It’s not even that scary. I especially love
the third film for its consistent sense of dread, inventive scares, and fresh
spin on the story. 4 has none of that and left me scratching my head even
harder than the last installments. This film is a major derailment that I can
only hope is fixed in Paranormal Activity 5.
The Campaign
This political satire starring funnymen Will Ferrell and
Zach Galifianakis isn't nearly as funny or as edgy as it should be. The
supporting cast of Jason Sudeikis, Dan Akroyd, John Lithgow, and Dylan
McDermott are never given any true time to shine. They’re all forgettable,
which is a testament to poor writing. You’d think a comedy about dirty congressional
politics that features major players like Ferrell, Galifianakis, Akroyd, and
Lithgow would be side-splitting, but The Campaign never comes close. I’ll
vote for the other guy.
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