"A Monster Calls" Review

The writer and his thoughts

The critically-acclaimed fantasy novel A Monster Calls makes the vivid leap from page to screen courtesy of author/screenwriter Patrick Ness and visionary director J.A. Bayona (The Orphanage, The Impossible, the upcoming Jurassic World sequel). Coming-of-age drama and B-movie homages combine to create a "monster movie" unlike any this reviewer has seen before. 

A Monster Calls tells the story of young Connor (newcomer Lewis MacDougall) who has trouble coping with the deteriorating health of his mother (Felicity Jones). His struggle is amplified by school bullies, an overbearing grandmother (Sigourney Weaver), and a father (Toby Kebbell) who has been away for most of the boy's upbringing. Guiding Connor through his grief is a walking, talking yew tree (voiced by Liam Neeson) that looks an awful lot like some freakish evolved form of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy. The monster ultimately tries to convince Connor that the only way to move on is to "speak the truth" of his feelings. 

It's a bit difficult to tell who this film is trying to tell its story to. It's far too cerebral for families, yet most of its big ideas are communicated through gorgeous, "Disney-fied" animated sequences and characters. It's also not violent enough to satisfy the Comic-Con crowd. Having said that, the film makes several nods to B-movie classics such as King Kong and The Invisible Man. When "the Monster" first appears, the score (beautifully composed by Fernando Velasquez) builds to a crescendo that evokes the reveals of many a fearsome Ray Harryhausen beast. Also, both King Kong and The Invisible Man represent crucial motifs that define Connor's grief. Kong and "the Monster" are both literally larger-than-life "protectors," for lack of a better word, and H.G. Wells' character serves as an allegory for how Connor wishes to be perceived by his classmates. He's fed up with being "invisible" to everyone, even eventually to the school bullies. 

Another beautifully handled motif is that of "time." "The Monster" always arrives when the clock turns over to 12:07. Connor's grandmother has an old clock that she warns him not to touch because it always tells the correct time. Obviously all of this relates to Connor's mum and her worsening condition. Time is rapidly running out for Connor to, as he originally thinks, "save" her.

So, with its heart in seemingly several different places, and its emotions firmly on its sleeve, it would be safe to call this Monster a bit of a mess. But, in the end, that may be the whole point. The story constantly reminds us that life isn't, and shouldn't always be, squeaky clean. "If you feel the need to break things, then, by God, you break them," says Connor's tearful mum some time after the boy makes mincemeat of his grandmother's sitting room. Heck, the whole crux of the film is about overcoming everything we fear most. That's always tricky business. 

B+

My Day with Film (Wednesday, January 4th, 2017)

Wednesday 1/4/17

Dear Diary,

It's now two days after the fact, and I still haven't watched Happy Birthday to Me. I got caught up in yesterday's Blair Witch hysterics, so I ended up watching my begrudgingly purchased Blu-ray with the director's commentary that I had been looking forward to. I rather enjoyed it! Wingard and Barrett share something of an endearingly edgy mood since the film made no money at the box office and was critically reviled. They revealed a handful of secrets without sacrificing the film's entire mystique, which is actually pretty awesome.

Moreover, I didn't realize that Happy Birthday to Me was responsible for this scene:

I've seen this image before but never knew where it came from. I love it because not only is it a unique kill, but it also plays into everyone's latent fear of swallowing a toothpick. 

Or is that just me..?

Anyways, the big story that got my attention today was that Apple is planning a "Theatre Mode" for iPhones and iPads. I'm rather upset that this was pretty much the second or third headline I read this morning because I haven't been able to quit thinking about what an atrocious idea it is, and in turn, my day hasn't been up to snuff. Cell phone use in movie theaters has always irked me. If you can afford to spend your time at a movie, then there is no text message or godforsaken Twitter update so important that it should tear your attention away from the much larger screen in front of you. If an emergency should arise, it should come in the form of a phone call, at which time it is prudent to walk out of the auditorium before answering. If there truly is a text that's so crucial to you that you must take your phone out and risk ruining the experience for everyone else, likewise, take it out into the lobby. Also, the "Silent" and "Do Not Disturb" buttons are your friends. Learn to use them. Please don't be that person whose ringtone blares in the middle of an important scene. It's extremely embarrassing for you and painfully distracting for everyone else.

If Apple includes this feature, it sets another dangerous precedent for exhibitionists who have a tough time as it is trying to pry people away from their couches. This new feature attempts to normalize aberrant behavior that, by its very nature, devalues the theatrical experience. In all seriousness, why would I continue to drop $10-15 just to watch people with no attention span or respect for art or creativity use their phones for two hours? It truly is that distracting. I pray to the cinema gods that Cincinnati gets an Alamo Drafthouse, where they have a stringent zero-tolerance policy on phone use. Now I hate to be so harsh as to say "Take it outside, shut it off, or don't come at all" because I normally encourage everyone to see as many movies as possible regardless of how good or bad they are. But there is no place for cell phone use inside a movie theater while the film is playing. If you can afford to be there, you can afford to turn your phone off. 

Okay, rant over for now. I've got Happy Birthday to Me on finally. 

Until tomorrow, 

BC

My Day with Film (Tuesday, January 3rd, 2017)

Tuesday 1/3/17

Dear Diary,

It's been a hot minute since I've written. Christmas is big in my house, and then we left town the next day to visit family in Pennsylvania. After returning home it was nice to just sloth around for a few days, but now it's a new year packed with fresh opportunities for success! As some idiot said, "It's gonna be 'uge."

Okay, well, the first thing I want to get off my chest is my frustration with "rental copies" of home media. I mean, I suppose I understand the logic behind "rental copies." If you were given all the content with a $2 rental, literally nobody would ever buy movies for their personal collection ever again. Warehouses would be piled floor to ceiling with unsold Blu-rays. I get it, but that doesn't make it any less shitty for the consumer looking to save a buck.

I went down to Redbox today to pick up the piss-poor rehash of Blair Witch. That movie is such a letdown, but when I heard that Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett were doing a commentary and an hour of featurettes, my curiosity was piqued. Wingard and Barrett are known for putting together stellar supplemental material for their films, and with so many secrets and mysteries left unresolved in the film, I had to get my hands on the Blu-ray in order to gain some sense of closure. I step up to the kiosk, hand over my $2 plus tax, and head home to my player just to make sure the bonuses are there and that I don't have to spend full-price to get the closure I so desperately have been seeking.

Imagine my frustration when I scroll through the menu to "Special Features," and all that's listed is a collection of trailers marked "Also from Lionsgate" and a tab for "Bookmarks," which are spots in the film that you can mark and go back to at any time without scrubbing through scene selections. Futility be damned, I cursed Lionsgate in that moment. "Now I have to go spend my hard-earned money on your garbage film because I care too much about movies and figuring out the end of the story," I thought to myself. It comes as little consolation that Target is currently running a 15% off coupon through their Cartwheel mobile app, which I highly encourage everyone to download.

Seriously, do not go shopping at Target again until you download Cartwheel. It will change your life.

So now I have Blair Witch on my shelf. I didn't want it to be this way. I could've spent the money on the far-superior Ouija: Origin of Evil in a couple weeks, yet here we are. I'm sure I'll have some thoughts on the bonus material later this week after I watch everything. Don't let me down again, Wingard! 

Lastly, Dr. Hollyfield recommended I watch Happy Birthday to Me in honor of my birthday yesterday. It's available on Shudder, so I'll be watching that tonight. 

Until next time,

BC

"Assassin's Creed" Review

The inherent problem with movies based on video games is that, by the nature of the medium, a movie makes a passive narrative out of an active one. For anyone who's played the Assassin's Creed video games, who can deny the thrill of scaling Renaissance architecture or the sweaty-palmed excitement of your first "leap of faith?" These are seminal moments that have made Assassin's Creed a hallmark of developer Ubisoft's oeuvre. The results of this highly-anticipated, game-to-screen translation are, perhaps unsurprisingly, decidedly average.

Featuring most of the same creative team behind last year's astounding Macbeth, Assassin's Creed seemed to be a surefire hit in the making. Director Justin Kurzel tries too hard to elevate the material to some twisted form of higher art. I found myself growing more and more exhausted as the film went on and thought that its biggest sin was self-seriousness. But then I remembered that the games - aside from some silly dialogue with the Florentines in Assassin's Creed II - are kind of the same way. Going back to the inherent flaw of video game movies, it's one thing to take part in a self-serious slog yourself. It's entirely different to be forced to sit idly as one plays out in front of you. Not even solid acting - of which there is plenty here - can save an absurdist plot that doesn't know when to embrace its silliness.

Michael Fassbender plays Callum Lynch, an entirely new hero in the franchise. He is the direct descendant of Aguilar de Nerha (also Fassbender), a 15th century assassin working to overthrow Templar rule during the first years of the Spanish Inquisition. The connection between Cal and Aguilar is amplified by the Animus, a device that synchronizes his senses and memories with those of his ancestor. Through this connection, Abstergo Industries hopes to find the location of the Apple of Eden - a device that many believe contains the key to free will. Sofia Rikkin (Marion Cotillard) is in charge of the Animus project and hopes to use the Apple of Eden as a cure for violence. Her father Alan (Jeremy Irons) wants it for more nefarious purposes.

Even with a cast of star thespians, the Abstergo scenes are far less interesting than the action sequences with Aguilar. It's no secret that the stunt work on this film has been some of the most ambitious in cinema history. The "leap of faith" sequences alone required the highest controlled free falls ever attempted on a movie set. Kurzel should have given the action more room to breathe, though. Too much of the stunt work is masked by editing save for a climactic confrontation between Aguilar and Templar forces inside a temple. There's an electrifying shot with fellow assassin Maria (Ariane Labed) beating down several enemies with a few quick strikes from her gauntlet blades. Later in the scene, we get a brutal hand-to-hand fight sequence between Aguilar and Ojeda (Hovik Keuchkerian), a Templar henchman. With the games chock full of R-rated content, I was worried that the film's PG-13 rating may ruin it. Thankfully that wasn't the case. Buckets of CGI blood would've contributed nothing of any of the violent sequences.

Another thing I liked very much about the Aguilar scenes were that they were presented entirely in the Spanish language. I've always found the games slightly absurd for their adherence to the English language. In Assassin's Creed II, t's hilarious to listen to Leonardo Da Vinci speak with a British accent in Florence, Italy. Other side characters do the same during the French Revolution in Assassin's Creed: Unity. All characters in the film spoke Spanish when the setting required it, making the action feel more authentic. Great creative decision by the director and screenwriters.

The last fifteen or so minutes of the film present a clever, somewhat full-circle way to marry the Abstergo scenes with the more exciting assassin sequences. Overall though, It's too bad that Assassin's Creed revels in the more laconic aspects of the video game campaigns. Nobody plays the games for those scenes with Kristen Bell.

The ball's in your court now, Uncharted.

C

My Day with Film (Wednesday, 12/21/16)

Wednesday, 12/21/16


Dear Diary,

Okay, so I'm freaking / nerding out a little bit right now. Maybe it's just the coffee kicking in, but within the past 24 hours, I received a package in the mail that I have been waiting a year and a half for.

That's right! THE BARN is finally in my hands! This crowdfunded '80s throwback first came to my attention in August 2015. I blogged about my hype after watching the trailers and exploring the many perks for contributors to the Indiegogo campaign. I've done my best to champion it ever since. I finally watched the film last night, and I am so ecstatic that the wait was worth it! THE BARN has the same look and feel of the cheesy, lo-fi slashers of yesteryear, complete with artificial film grain, dubious acting performances, and homemade gore effects. 

Perhaps regrettably, I've become something of a Blu-ray snob over the past couple of years. Ever since I got a proper player and HD television set, I refused to buy or watch any movie on DVD aside from some black & white films and studio comedies that I didn't think necessarily needed the added detail of 1080p. I don't need to count every hair on Owen Wilson's ragamuffin head in WEDDING CRASHERS. For now, THE BARN is only available on DVD and videocassette(!), and after seeing the film on DVD, I'm not sure I'd bother upgrading if writer/director/editor/awesome guy Justin Seaman and Nevermore Production Films ever released a Blu-ray. I think it may tarnish the film's low-rent aesthetic. Furthermore, the DVD I have is exclusive to Indiegogo contributors, and yours truly just happens to have a spot in the credits.

I don't know why I used my full name. I should've told them to put "The Reel Movies Blog." I think my id went crazy in that moment, and thus I briefly indulged my movie producer fantasy. I couldn't be more excited or happy that I finally have my claws on THE BARN and that my name is included on such a fine package that so much love and care went into. 

I'm running short on time as I have a screening of ASSASSIN'S CREED to make, but I retweeted a bunch of news today on my Twitter feed. Among the headlines, Denis Villeneuve confirms that BLADE RUNNER 2049 will be rated R, and apparently he is in talks to direct a remake of DUNE. Elsewhere, beloved film critic Leonard Maltin discusses 2016's must-see movies, 336 films qualify for the Best Picture Oscar, voice casting for Wes Anderson's ISLE OF DOGS could include you, and in honor of the Blu-ray release of Rob Zombie's 31, Bloody Disgusting explores what happened to the rumored NC-17 cut. Head over to my Twitter to read on. 

Until tomorrow, 

BC

My Day with Film (Tuesday, 12/20/16)

Tuesday, 12/20/16


Dear Diary,

I shared my review of PASSENGERS this morning. Spoiler alert - I did not care for it. I think the film releases Wednesday for anybody who is still interested. ASSASSIN'S CREED also comes out this week, so I hope to see it and post a review soon.

While working today, I pulled up the latest Movie Fight from the folks over at Screen Junkies. They don't do this all the time, but Screen Junkies recently started this new approach to Movie Fights by getting contestants drunk while arguing movies. It's great.

Today we got two new stills from ALIEN: COVENANT. The first trailer is imminent, per the folks at TrailerTrack.

We also got a brand new still from JUSTICE LEAGUE. This one features Ben Affleck as Batman, Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, and Ezra Miller as The Flash staring pensively at something in the upper right corner.

We did, however, get the first trailer for THE EMOJI MOVIE. It's presented vertically, which means it is optimized for mobile viewing. Nobody will be surprised if the entire movie is shot that way. It's only a tease, but I think this trailer perfectly captures everyone's thoughts about the prospect of a film based on emoji.

There's also another trailer out now for A CURE FOR WELLNESS, which looks like a more stylized version of SHUDDER ISLAND. I'm excited for this one. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be terrible, but I think there's an interesting story and some insane visuals here. And I love haunted asylum horror/psychological thriller movies. This one is out mid-February.

Lastly, my mother is interested in seeing any and all Christmas movies right now, including KRAMPUS. I promised her we'd watch it tonight. We'll see how that goes.


Until tomorrow,

BC

"Passengers" Review

Early previews for Passengers made it look like an intriguing successor to 2001: A Space Odyssey. With "America's sweethearts" Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt leading the cast, and The Imitation Game director Morten Tyldum behind the camera, Sony had all the makings of a crowd-pleasing Oscar contender not unlike last year's The Martian.

The finished product is about as far removed from all of that as possible. Sure, Pratt and Lawrence have chemistry, but the script goes completely off the rails with a third act so contrived that it all but sinks the entire production. In this case, "S.O.S." might as well stand for "Save Our Story."

Pratt stars as Jim Preston, a mechanical engineer who awakes 90 years prematurely on a mission to colonize a distant, earth-like planet called Homestead II. He spends a year playing basketball, setting high scores on a space-age version of the "Just Dance" video game, and confiding in Arthur (Martin Sheen), an android bartender and the only friendly face Jim has to interact with. After all that time in solitude, and a brush with death, Jim decides that he needs human company.

Lawrence stars as Aurora Lane, a writer from New York City. Together, she and Jim must find and fix a malfunction that threatens to destroy their spaceship and take the lives of 5,000 colonists.

For about ninety minutes of its barely-two-hour run time, Passengers is a perfectly passable movie. It's neither flashy enough to measure up with a blockbuster like Rogue One, nor is it intimate enough to pass for an indie in the vein of Duncan Jones's Moon. Pratt proves that he has the charisma to carry a film on his own; the first 30 to 45 minutes or so are arguably the film's best. From this point, Passengers continues to skate by based on the chemistry that he and Lawrence share. Then something happens to remind you that there's actually a plot at work. The solution to the central conflict is literally placed in the protagonists' hands, and the rest of the film plays out as safely and predictably as one could imagine. By the end, you'll feel as though you've just sat through the ultimate male fantasy, and then you'll ask yourself how in God's name a certain actor received billing for his role in this film.

I think the overall message of the film is something along the lines of "love the one you're with." That may be clear, but there has got to be a better story to tell with this concept. To be totally honest, Michael Bay's The Island comes to mind as something of a favorable example of the his & hers "fish-out-of-water" tale. Pratt and Lawrence remain as likable as ever, but they need a vehicle that doesn't pander to the lowest common denominator.

D+