"300: Rise of an Empire" Review

To put it about as bluntly as a slow-motion spear to the gut, 300: Rise of an Empire just isn't very good.

If this film were a newborn baby in Sparta, they’d cast it out for the iniquities it possesses compared to its predecessor. The original 300, which was a huge commercial success back in 2007, was based on the popular 1998 graphic novel of the same name by Frank Miller (Sin City).

Rise of an Empire is inspired by source material that hasn't even been published yet. Miller is currently working on Xerxes, a sequel to the 300 graphic novel which is said to tell the story of the god-king’s origin and rise to power. That publication still has no release date in sight, which means that screenwriters Zack Snyder and Kurt Johnstad (both veterans of the first 300 film) were forced to take huge creative liberties with the story for Rise of an Empire. I can’t say if that’s necessarily a bad thing because there’s nothing to judge it on except by the merits of the first movie.

Sure, Rise of an Empire captures that sexy, hyper-stylized design that 300 spawned in countless film and television rip-offs since its release. If judged on its own, Rise of an Empire expands the franchise’s story with a timeline that takes place before, during and after the events of 300. That makes it both a prequel and a sequel.

We learn more about Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) as a character, which is cool. I loved seeing this edgy take on his humble beginnings and learning how he became the sovereign of all Persia. However, Eva Green (Casino Royale) is by far the film’s crown jewel. Her performance as Artemisia, commander of the Persian navy, is bold, tough, sexy, and terrifying all at the same time. She’s definitely the most fun in the bunch. The writers lend some complexity to her character as well. Here, Artemisia is a child slave who eventually proves her worth to Xerxes and becomes the most feared naval commander in the Persian Empire.

One of the biggest missing pieces here is a charismatic leading man. Gerard Butler’s over-the-top performance was what made 300 so enjoyable. Here, Sullivan Stapleton (Gangster Squad) steps in as Themistokles, a Greek general who leads his naval fleet against that of the Persians and Artemisia. Rise of an Empire could have been a major star vehicle for Stapleton, just like it was for Butler a few years ago. Right now, the guy lacks the screen presence for us to buy into his role. Where Butler frequently roared the fun but ridiculous vernacular copied by gym bros everywhere, Stapleton just grits his teeth like he’s constipated.

He does get the token sex scene with Green though, even if it’s kind of bizarre and feels tacked on for the sake of sticking to the modern “sword and sandal” clichés. Apparently all these movies, from 300 to Immortals to the Spartacus television show, have to have a wild sex scene in them now.

The first 300 also had a variety of locations and enemies for the Spartans to confront, which was cool because you never knew who or what they would face next. All the action in Rise of an Empire takes place purely on the high seas. It’s like a graphic “Spartans of the Caribbean” video game that gets old quick.

D