"Riddick" Review

I wonder what those kids in the AT&T commercials would say about this one…

What would you get if you had a film that claimed to be the first new representation of a character in nearly a decade and promised to bring the story back to the basics laid down by its predecessors, yet borrows its strongest moments from other, better, science-fiction franchises?

You’d get Riddick.

Writer/director David Twohy reunites with star Vin Diesel for the third film in the Pitch Black series.

This time around, the anti-hero, Riddick, finds himself stranded on a sun-scorched planet inhabited by violent predators. His only hope for rescue is to activate an emergency beacon, alerting two separate ships of the bounty on Riddick’s head. One ship carries a new breed of mercenary, while the other is captained by a man from Riddick’s past.

With the elements stacked against him, Riddick must fight to make good and get off the planet alive at all costs.

But why do we care?

With both his script and direction, Twohy fails to generate any sense of feeling for any of the characters. Even as Riddick spends the first twenty minutes figuring out how to survive the planet’s extreme conditions, I couldn’t help but care less about what happened to him.

The same can be said about the mercenaries.

Essentially, they are nothing more than disposable bad guys who serve no true purpose but to be creatively dispatched by our protagonist.

This drove me nuts because the film undergoes a major shift in focus once the “mercs” arrive, which I found completely unnecessary.

The film comes to hardly even be a story about the titular character.

It becomes a plodding feature about the conflicting guns-for-hire, filled with slow, padded dialogue that serves as a fine sleep aid for all but the most eager and least demanding of Riddick fans.

In addition to a confused storyline, the action is sparse and fails to pack much punch.

Some of the most exciting sequences are when Riddick takes on these massive, scorpion-like predators that look almost identical to the Xenomorphs from Aliens.

These scenes were fun but underwhelming, because all I could see were Aliens and a mediocre Diesel in place of the superior Sigourney Weaver.

Ensuing gunfights, fistfights, and swordplay are nothing that action junkies haven’t seen before, although there is a pretty gnarly stunt that Riddick pulls with a machete just before the film’s final act.

Consider it the long overdue wake-up call to the coma-inducing scenes with the “mercs” earlier.

As much as Riddick borrows from Aliens, it takes pages from I Am Legend and Old Yeller as well.

Towards the beginning, Riddick gets attacked by a pack of dingo-like creatures.

Somehow, he manages to capture one of their young and raise it as his companion.

As ridiculous as it sounds, watching Riddick train and play with an alien puppy actually makes for a fun, lighthearted first act.

It’s just a bummer the CGI wasn’t done better on him.

All of the creatures look corny, and the landscapes manufactured.

It looks like the same special effects technology they used on The Chronicles of Riddick back in 2004.

What should be a return to form for writer/director Twohy and star Diesel, Riddick manages to be nothing more than a forgettable hodgepodge of unoriginal stunts and ideas, despite a relatively lighthearted first act.

I think the kids would say to move along, and "'queen' my dishes, please". It's not complicated.

4.5/10