"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" Review

Not good by any stretch of the imagination, though not nearly the disaster I had anticipated, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles merely squeaks by as mindless summer entertainment. It's nothing more than "froth," if you will, as Will Arnett's character puts it. Sometimes that's all you need, but this adaptation isn't quite brainy enough to earn my hearty recommendation.

No offense, Donatello.

Fans of the Turtles franchise have probably seen this plot carried out before: during a freak laboratory accident, a young April O'Neil saves four baby turtles and a rat by dropping them in a sewer. Years later, April (Megan Fox) is now a news reporter hot on the tail of a conspiracy to take over New York City. As she investigates, April crosses paths with her grown-up pets who now act as vigilantes fighting against the evil of Shredder and his private army known as the Foot Clan.

It's pretty standard good-versus-evil stuff, although a handful of action sequences prove to be rather diverting. Late in the film, there's a downhill chase on a snow-covered mountain that shows just how clever and fun these turtles can be outside their usual cityscape.

I've heard lots of complaints about the way the turtles themselves are portrayed this time around. Actually, the filmmakers get the banter between the characters just right. You get a strong sense of brotherhood among these guys, and it's easy to tell they're teenagers with one or two cringe-worthy fart / boner jokes just in case anyone forgot.

The biggest issue is the fact that these "teenage mutant turtles" are about the furthest thing from "ninjas" you could imagine. Mikey, Donnie, Leo and Raph are all enormous brutes who look like they could go toe-to-toe with the Incredible Hulk much less round up puny Foot soldiers in the dead of night. These turtles frequently rely on brute strength to take care of things, hurling trucks at bad guys or punching them across whole rooms. These ain't the TMNT I know from my childhood.

Aside from the decent motion capture and voice work from Johnny Knoxville, Tony Shaloub, Jimmy Howard, Noel Fisher, Pete Ploszek and Alan Ritchson, the human performances are pretty dull. Fox is always nice to look at, but her display of emotion is about as engaging and wooden as a 2x4. Arnett isn't funny as Vern Fenwick, April's cameraman. It's annoying that he just tries to get in her pants the entire time. William Fichtner also stars as the shady businessman Eric Sacks, a role that the actor could play in his sleep.

This Michael Bay production is better than Transformers: Age of Extinction, but there have been so many better blockbusters this summer that this iteration of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is largely worth skipping.

C-

"Boyhood" Pocket Review

If the film BOYHOOD is playing in your area, I urge you to check it out. It's a coming-of-age story that doesn't follow a typical narrative formula as much as it simply captures the essence of growing up. It's filled with hilarious moments made even funnier when you realize you've gone through the same experiences that Mason has. Terrific performances all around. Standouts include Ellar Coltrane as our boy, Mason, and Ethan Hawke as his estranged father. Director Richard Linklater filmed a little bit every year for 12 years with the same core cast! This is the year's best movie so far. 

A

"Guardians of the Galaxy" Review

It may not quite be the summer "savior" many had hoped, but Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy proves a raucously refreshing breath of clean air for the superhero genre. It may also be the funniest film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Peter Quill a.k.a. "Star-Lord" (Chris Pratt) becomes the object of a galaxy-traversing manhunt when he steals a mysterious orb from a distant planet. Hot on his tail is Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace), your traditional MCU villain, hellbent on usurping the mighty Thanos (a surprising turn by Josh Brolin) as ruler of the universe. In order to stop Ronan, Quill relies on a handful of misfits for help. Among them are an assassin named Gamora (Zoe Saldana), a muscle-bound psychopath named Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista, on hiatus from WWE), and a pair of anthropomorphic show-stealers. There's a walking tree named Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel) and a talking raccoon named Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper).

Cooper's voice is practically unrecognizable as he attempts some goofy New York accent to bring Rocket to life. He and Groot handle most of the film's funniest moments. There's plenty of self-deprecating humor to go around, as the group are frequently referred to as "a-holes" and "a bunch of jackasses."  I think I actually laughed harder during Guardians than I did during 22 Jump Street. 

And I'd be remiss not to mention the stellar soundtrack. Music plays a big part in Quill's life, and it has an infectious effect on not only his compatriots but the audience as well. The playlist consists of several of the biggest hits from the 70s, including "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5, "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum, and "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye.

On the flip side, I thought Ronan did nothing to separate himself from the Lokis and the Malekiths of previous MCU films. I wished for him to move out of the way so Thanos could finally take center stage. Sadly we haven't quite gotten there yet. Additionally, I felt the plot suffered due to a lack of backstory for most of the characters. Following our "guardians" on their quest feels jarring at times because we're suddenly thrown into action with a bunch of freaks we know nothing about.

I think the main reason why we're expected to "just go with it" is that the Guardians have a dysfunctional family dynamic that's not unlike the Avengers. They come together to fight a common enemy, but they have a hard time playing nice with one another. If nothing else, I'm happy this character dynamic somehow works because I'll never be able to take a talking tree seriously.

B+

"Planes: Fire & Rescue" Review

As a film dedicated to firefighters and first responders, Disney's latest animated adventure has good intentions. Its heart is in the right place, but as a family feature Planes: Fire & Rescue lacks the imagination of recent efforts like The Lego Movie and How to Train Your Dragon 2.

If you saw last summer's Planes (a spin-off from Disney/Pixar's Cars) this new chapter picks up with many of your favorite characters returning. Of course Dusty Crophopper (Dane Cook) is the star of the show.

We find Dusty pushing himself to the brink of disaster in the middle of a race. While he assumes he's done well, he doesn't realize the strain he's putting on his gearbox. If that piece of machinery was to fail in another race, Dusty could meet an untimely demise. As a result, he decides to leave his racing days behind him and become a firefighter. Dusty joins forces with Blade Ranger (Ed Harris) and his team of first responders, a.k.a. The Smokejumpers, to combat wildfires near Piston Peak.

Kids will love the goofy characters and the action-packed set pieces. There's even a handful of tongue-in-cheek jokes to keep the parents engaged for a little while, but that isn't enough to escape the generic plot design.

With the plethora of other, better, kid-friendly options out there, we probably didn't need a so-so sequel to a so-so spin-off to the least of the Pixar franchises.

Besides, when Dane Cook is your lead voice actor (let alone your lead actor in anything), you ought to know something is suspect.

If you want to take your kids out to a fun movie, make it How to Train Your Dragon 2. If you'd rather save a few bucks, rent/buy The Lego Movie or, heck, Frozen instead.

C-

"Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" Review

                                       

Dawn is as good an action sequel as you're likely to see in this day and age. It joins the ranks of The Dark Knight and The Empire Strikes Back as blockbuster part-twos that surpass their predecessors in almost every way.

It picks up nearly 10 years after the events of 2011's Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Mankind has been crippled by the Simian flu. Cities have been reduced to rubble and reclaimed by the flora & fauna. The few humans lucky enough to be genetically immune to the disease exist in small colonies around the globe. Our focus remains on what's left in San Francisco - ground zero for the flu outbreak. The last of the city's scientists, engineers, and doctors attempt to establish communication with the outside world as their power supply dwindles. A small contingency of San Francisco survivors (led by Jason Clarke & Keri Russell) makes contact with a group of apes led by Caesar (Andy Serkis) while looking for a dam that could re-juice the city's power.

Most of the apes have been conditioned to fear man after the events of Rise. But things take an interesting turn when the primates get ahold of a human weapons cache, and a power struggle ensues in the simian ranks. 

They quickly become some of the NRA's hairiest members.

The visual effects work from Weta Digital is astounding, as both the environments and the apes that inhabit them appear gloriously lifelike.  I'd swear Maurice was an actual trained orangutan. 

You can witness all the scars and emotions of these animals in graphic detail. The motion capture artists, led by the incomparable Serkis, do well to get the audience invested in their primate characters by showcasing very human emotions as we are placed alongside them in their desolate world. 

The human characters aren't quite as interesting. Performances from Clarke and Russell feel mostly hollow. Not even Gary Oldman can muster enough audience empathy to make us care about Dreyfus, the head of the San Francisco colony. 

With the seeds of war between the humans and apes planted, you can bet we're in for one helluva part three. 

A

"Tammy" Review

       

In Tammy Melissa McCarthy is as silly as ever and proves that she can indeed carry a full-length picture. However this vanity project from her and co-star/co-writer/director & real-life husband Ben Falcone offers little more than a handful of laughs.

Tammy features a supporting cast of some of the best comic actors in the business, but none of them are given enough to work with. Susan Sarandon stars as Tammy's grandmother, the Louise to her Thelma. Allison Janney & Dan Akroyd play Tammy's parents. Nat Faxon plays Tammy's husband, and Toni Collette gets in a line or two as the homewrecker from down the street. Kathy Bates, Sandra Oh, Gary Cole, and Mark Duplass round out the supporting cast.

There are countless other road-trip comedies that offer better characters and more gut-busting hilarity. If you're a fan of McCarthy's shtick, you'll find enough to enjoy here, but all others need not apply. 

D 

"Deliver Us From Evil" Review

The good outweighs both the bad and the ugly in Deliver Us From Evil, the new supernatural crime thriller from director Scott Derrickson (Sinister) and producer Jerry Bruckheimer (Pirates of the Caribbean).

After investigating a series of bizarre crimes, NYPD sergeant Ralph Sarchie (Eric Bana) discovers a greater game afoot involving soldiers from the Iraq War, a painting company, and some creepy Latin symbology, the origin of which remains largely unexplained.

What sets this apart from most exorcism movies is the addition of the buddy-cop dynamic. Sarchie's partner on the force, Butler (Joel McHale), gets in a few decent one-liners which, as another reviewer put it, "feel as though they could've been ripped straight from a Community spoof of cop movies."

Whether that's good or bad depends on how you like your police dramas. For me McHale's part is a little too corny, but it does inject a little lightheartedness to the otherwise dour proceedings.

When Butler's not around, Sarchie pairs up with Father Mendoza (Edgar Ramirez), a Jesuit priest who specializes in the study of demonology. Together, they piece together the supernatural puzzle laid out before them.

It would be a well-written story if Derrickson and scribing partner Paul Harris Boardman had exorcised a few genre clichés along the way. I remain a Derrickson fan for his assured grasp on spooky atmospherics, but he doesn't approach the horror here with the same slow-burn suspense that made Sinister such a guilty pleasure. Deliver Us From Evil is good for maybe one or two jump scares. Otherwise, it just kinda feels like a poor man's version of David Fincher's Se7en.

On the whole the actors all provide serviceable performances, and the film itself is never actually boring despite a slew of clichés that ruin most of the scares. If you're in the mood for something dark and intense, you could do far worse than Deliver Us From Evil, but you could do much better too.

C+